Singles Matter Too – Embracing Being Single

By Courtney Smith, M.ED., LPC


Getting those constant comments from family about “When are you going to get married?” or “I’m ready to have grandbabies,” puts on the pressure that being single is not okay.


What if people approached you with encouragement and validation for having patience while finding the right person for you? Wouldn’t that help diminish the shame and feelings of inadequacy for being single?


According to Pew Research Center (2011), the average age of marriage is 26.5 women and 28.7 for men. Most people are getting married at much older ages and focusing on their careers or self-improvement.

We usually tie in being married with happiness.


Many people in my work and personal life, including myself (insert big grin emoji) make exceptions to stay with their partner, avoid being alone, or settle for fear of not finding a more fitting partner. Whether it’s our friends, Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl, Ross and Rachel from Friends, we are exposed to seeing people push past their unhappiness to stay together in their relationship.


Before you question not settling down yet, embrace your singleness and keep in mind that you deserve the person that is going to be the right fit for you. Here are some more reminders:


1.     It’s okay to let go of relationships that weren’t working for you


2.     If you’re sitting there thinking “But they broke up with me,” remind

yourself that were willing to leave and you want someone that will stick with you.


3.     You are defined by what makes you...well you. Not by not being in a relationship or married, or having children.


Repeat this over and over ‘I am enough.’